ARMAGEDDON (1999, Blu-ray released April 27, 2010 – MSRP $29.99)
You probably won’t believe this but until a couple of nights ago I had never watched Armageddon. I had successfully managed to avoid Michael Bay‘s most famous ode to machismo and Americana for over a decade. It figures that it would take the new Blu-ray release of the film to finally break me down and force me into a screening. And after all was said and done, the film failed to leave me breathless…but it did render me speechless.
What a turd. Armageddon is not a good movie. I’ve been hearing and reading about the film for over a decade and, of course, had some expectations of it. The cheese, the plasticity, the…Bay-ness of it all. It’s all there in the relative abundance I expected it to be. But what I wasn’t anticipating was the generally engaging setup of the film that gives way to utter, unbelievably dated sci-fi comedy.
I was actually with Armageddon for the first half of the film. It almost had me. It’s got a pretty compelling opening act that trucks along at a good clip, trading character and plot in a fairly even-handed kind of way. But it lost me down the line. I had expected the ‘cheese’ – the trite contrivances abundant in any Bay film – to come solely from the script, from the melodrama in the story. And it does. It’s there. But when the mining team led by Bruce Willis arrives on the asteroid that’s rocketing toward Earth, threatening to obliterate all mankind, the film descends into a kind of science fiction-lite television production from the 60s! There wasn’t a single moment of the latter half of Armageddon where I found myself able to sufficiently suspend my disbelief to be able to accept what I was witnessing on screen. Marveling at the piss-poor stage set the actors were stuck upon, I almost expected to see William Shatner or Billy Mumy waltz around the corner to help save the day. What a letdown!
But don’t let my persnickety criticisms of the film rob you of any entertainment. I can see where most folks would enjoy Armageddon. It plays like a prequel to Bay’s Transformers films with lots of sweeping, well composed shots of military gear coupled with a tremendous amount of explosions. There is a child-like sense of wonder about it all but, unlike Transformers, it all ends up feeling a bit uneven to me, with a contrived yet down-to-earth beginning and very silly and silly-looking second half. But clearly I’m not the target audience. For those who are — those folks who enjoy the more melodramatic, ridiculous, chaotic and loud end of the cinematic spectrum — I imagine this film will most likely hit the mark.
The great news here is that Armageddon looks fantastic on Blu-ray! There’s a lot of detail on display in this new HD transfer, with deep, deep blacks and bold, yet accurate colours. Even if you don’t care for the film itself, I guarantee you’ll love the way it looks in 1080p. The DTS-HD Master Audio track may not rattle your bones to the extent that more modern films do, but it’s a solid effort that blows away the lossy track on the previously available DVD edition.
The special features come up a bit light on the Armageddon Blu-ray disc. This release of the film only includes a couple of trailers and the Aerosmith music video for their song “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”, leaving behind the multitude of extras from the 2-disc Criterion Collection DVD. Fans of the film will definitely want to pick up the Blu-ray for the amazing upgrade in picture and sound. But don’t get rid of your DVDs if you care to listen to commentary or watch deleted scenes, interviews or featurettes.
[...] flash-heavy/substance-lite wunderkind Michael Bay. While I didn’t really care much for his Armageddon (as evidenced in my review) and I’m not a big fan of The Transformers franchise, I actually [...]